[quick aside: anyone else remember that Who's the Boss? episode where tony buys sam a hideous car and then has special "SAMSCAR" plates put on it and she, like, totally dies of, like, embarrassment? gag me with a spoon!]
i even once saw a car with a "zck attck" plate - which, ok, i'll admit i found hilarious, given that i have seen literally every single episode of SBTB*, but i still don't understand committing to that sort of a plate long term. doesn't the novelty wear off almost immediately?
anyway - now that you know all about the bad tv shows i used to watch - maybe i'll get on to the point of this post: despite my own personal issues with vanity plates, there are clearly tons of people out there who love them. i was fortunate enough to run across this baltimore sun article where they outline all the words that Maryland does not allow people to put on their personalized plates. some examples of outlawed words (in addition to the obvious profanities that are not allowed) include the following:
FBI
HEROIN
KILLALL
(anyone else see the Wire-esque theme here?)
PIMP
ASS (and anything starting or ending in ass)
6ULDV8 (apparently someone in the Maryland Transportation Administration realized that this actually approximates "sexual deviant" - it's nice to see our tax dollars are going to such worthy pursuits as someone figuring out how to spell bad words with a combination of letters and numbers, just in case they are ever requested)
and as for things that are allowed? some of the actual vanity plates that were approved include:
SUX2BU (approved because it's "just a personal view of the world" according to an MTA official)
PHATAZZ (because ass is no longer a bad word when you spell it with z's)
FATPIMP (i guess the addition of fat makes it ok?)
LOLWTF (which should have been banned just for being so fucking stupid.)
alas, as the article also points out, at least those poor people whose brilliant plate ideas are rejected can still express their individuality via bumper stickers. for all those terrible people out there (rednecks and misogynists alike), i'd like to recommend this gem that i spotted years ago when i was living in colorado:
"just got a gun for my wife. it was the best trade i ever made!!"
nice.
*just to be clear, i am referring to the original show, not the terrible college years or the dreaded "new class" abomination.
"Of the 242,991,747 registered vehicles in the United States, 3.82 percent (roughly 9.3 million) have vanity plates, according to a 2007 study by the American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators." Evidently, we, in MA, prefer to be more discreet than the rest of the country. We rank 46th out of the 50 states and Washington, D.C. - Less than 2 percent of registered cars have vanity plates in the Bay State. "Only Kentucky, Louisiana, Tennessee and Texas have fewer car owners expressing themselves platially. New Hampshire has the second-highest percentage where about 17 percent of car owners make a statement with their plates. The Massachusetts RMV "won't issue just any vanity plate. The letters and/or numbers can't combine to be either intentionally or accidentally offensive. For all plates - regular as well as vanity - combinations are run through a computer program and checked in foreign languages, backwards and even in mirrors to protect against wise guys." So, Maryland isn't the only state protecting the rest of us from "wise guys". Just sayin'
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