wtf of the day: tomboy nightmare edition

I got what was probably my fourth manicure ever today (it was a christmas gift from my mom, whose appearance is far more polished than my own). as i've probably previously established on this blog, i'm not the girlie-est person. i don't really like pink, i almost never wear dresses and perhaps most tellingly, i didn't even know how to use a hair dryer until my senior year in college, when one of my roommates staged an intervention and taught me how.* add to that the fact that i am a huge flail, constantly bruising myself and bumping into things, accidentally ripping my nails, and it probably makes sense that manicures have just never really been my thing.

so perhaps you'll understand that one of my greatest fears was realized today when the following happened:

clearly this is a photo of my actual hand, as no file photo downloaded from the internet would use a hand model whose hand resembles that of a bloated grandmother with poor circulation. 

yes, that's right. my nails are BRIGHT RED (thanks to an unfortunate trick of the light affecting my color choice - i swear the polish looked like it was a dark maroon color when it was sitting on the shelf) and, in case you somehow missed it, following some strangely intense peer-pressure from the "nail technician", my ring finger - on both hands! - has a BEDAZZLED SNOW FLAKE ON IT.

gahhhhhhwhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

dear god i just hope that this isn't the first step on a slippery slope that ends with an audition for the real housewives of baltimore city...

* thanks, EH ;)