halloween when you're 3 years old: your mom and dad dress you up as your favorite superhero, wonder woman, using underoos and some homemade gold boots and bracelets as your costume. you trick-or-treat at two houses, then get too tired to walk any more.
halloween when you're 11 years old: dress up as the eiffel tower, using an elaborate costume you and your dad made by painting cardboard boxes of various sizes and gluing them together. attempt to trick-or-treat, but realize that elaborate eiffel tower costumes made of cardboard boxes are not conducive to climbing up stairs. have your friend ring the door bell and hope that whoever answers the door will take pity on you and walk the candy down the stairs.
halloween when you're 20 years old: you and your college roommate dress up in silver sequined tube tops, black pants (well, it was '00), $2 tiaras and create accessories out of snowflake-shaped christmas ornaments. you pretend you are being sort of ironic and call yourselves 'ho-flakes. go to a crappy halloween house party where, shockingly, your costumes are somehow not nearly the most painful or embarrassing there.
halloween when you're 30 years old: you avoid any parties because it is monday night and they'll just make you too tired to function for the rest of the week. dress up in your workout clothes and go to a halloween-themed spin class. go home and fall asleep on the couch.
happy halloween, everyone!
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