bad luck = classic ERA moments:

I have hilariously terrible luck.
in other words, really weird shit happens to me regularly. usually i find this mildly amusing (and, let's face it, if i didn't, i'd probably have killed myself by now). 

a classic example, from just last night: 
yesterday after work i went to a baseball game. immediately upon arriving at the ballpark i decided to use the restroom, hoping to get that out of the way before the game started. just as i walked through the doorway to the women's room, some random lady with a giant plastic cup filled to the brim with beer came barreling out and ran straight into me, dumping half her beer all over my shirt and pants (she ended up totally dry, of course). it was totally, indisputably her fault, but she says, "i'm sorry, but that really was your fault!" 

umm...no, i'm sorry, but in what way exactly was that my fault? she was the one charging out of the restroom. and besides, who brings a full beer into the bathroom? you're supposed to pee then buy your beer. everyone knows that. 

after she so thoughtfully handed me one square of toilet paper to wipe the beer out of my eyes, i then got to spend the entire game soaking in beer and freezing (thanks to the 50 degree northern california weather). worst part was, it wasn't even good beer! it was shitty bud lite or coors or something. so i spent the entire rest of the night smelling like a crappy-beer guzzling alcoholic. sweet. 

sure, plenty of people have had beer spilled on them from time to time. but how many people get beer spilled all over them and then get blamed for it? yes, that's right. just me. 

so, needless to say, i was not all that surprised when i read my horoscope today: 

Gemini May 21 - June 21

For Wednesday, July 21 -There are many aspects of your life that are somewhat hard for you to deal with now. Relatives and neighbors, anything that involves travel or technology, and anything that could get you lost are all red-flagged. They're just unlikely to go well for you, sadly. Sit tight, stay home, ignore the phone and postpone any big decisions for a day or two.

AWESOME. can't wait to see what sort of weird shit happens to me tonight. sigh...