wtf of the day: pet squirrel edition

I was going to introduce this post by saying that this is yet another cautionary tale about the hazards of binge drinking (the other cautionary tale being this one), but really, it's actually just a cautionary tale about the hazards of being a gigantic fucking idiot.

i would highly recommend watching the local news story, but here is a little teaser for you:

GREEN COVE SPRINGS, Fla. - Clay County deputies call this one for the stranger than fiction file: A driver stopped Saturday night on suspicion of driving under the influence claimed the squirrel in his shirt was eating him. According to an arrest report, Warren Michael III produced the squirrel to show the deputy. 

 in case you missed it in the video, that dude actually named his pet squirrel DUI (pronounced "dewey") after the incident.

fjabieuawfbliraelfbrubai;abubiabflueirfv

sometimes it feels like there aren't enough keyboards in the world for me to bang my head on because of this shit.

and to answer the question that is surely running through your mind right now: yes, you should be feeling extremely concerned for the future of the world.