well, this morning i had a particularly disturbing - and ridiculous - nightmare: i was back in the House of Filth and Squalor. it was dark. there were even more new people living there. i was on a desperate mission to find toilet paper (i know what you're thinking, but no, this story does not end with me waking up having wet the bed... don't worry). there was no toilet paper in the house. i knew i had hidden a costco-sized multipack somewhere, but someone had taken it. i ran all over the house, dodging debris and stacks of dirty dishes covered in ants. i went into my room and discovered that the ceiling had caved in and my bed was covered in rubble. one of the faceless new roommates was yelling at me in a whiny voice (though this last part may have been because my alarm was set to NPR and Diane Rehm's screeching voice was on the air at the time...)
anyway, i eventually reached that point in my dream where i knew it was a dream and i forced myself to wake up. when i finally dragged myself out of dreamland, i wasn't scared and my heart wasn't pounding. i was just annoyed. in fact, i even let out an exasperated "ugh. really?" out of sheer annoyance that i am still not free of the House of Filth and Squalor, despite being almost 3,000 miles away.
yes, it is official: i have House of Filth and Squalor-induced PTSD. i can only hope that with time and the help of friends and family, someday i will no longer be haunted by these nightmares and i will be back to having my usual nightmares about accidently forgetting to wear clothes to school or public speaking or giant scary feet.... sigh.
Actually, for it to be PTSD you have to have had symptoms for at least one month. Please refer to the following DSM-IV criteria (ha! I love being nerdy):
ReplyDeleteIn 2000, the American Psychiatric Association revised the PTSD diagnostic criteria in the fourth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR)(1). The diagnostic criteria (A-F) are specified below.
Diagnostic criteria for PTSD include a history of exposure to a traumatic event meeting two criteria and symptoms from each of three symptom clusters: intrusive recollections, avoidant/numbing symptoms, and hyper-arousal symptoms. A fifth criterion concerns duration of symptoms and a sixth assesses functioning.
Criterion A: stressor
The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following have been present:
1. The person has experienced, witnessed, or been confronted with an event or events that involve actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others.
2. The person's response involved intense fear,helplessness, or horror. Note: in children, it may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior.
Criterion B: intrusive recollection
The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in at least one of the following ways:
1. Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: in young children, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed.
2. Recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: in children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content
3. Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes,including those that occur upon awakening or when intoxicated). Note: in children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur.
4. Intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.
5. Physiologic reactivity upon exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event
Criterion C: avoidant/numbing
Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by at least three of the following:
1. Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma
2. Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma
3. Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma
4. Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities
5. Feeling of detachment or estrangement from others
6. Restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)
7. Sense of foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span)
Criterion D: hyper-arousal
Persistent symptoms of increasing arousal (not present before the trauma), indicated by at least two of the following:
1. Difficulty falling or staying asleep
2. Irritability or outbursts of anger
3. Difficulty concentrating
4. Hyper-vigilance
5. Exaggerated startle response
Criterion E: duration
Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in B, C, and D) is more than one month.
Criterion F: functional significance
The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
Specify if:
Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than three months
Chronic: if duration of symptoms is three months or more
Specify if:
With or Without delay onset: Onset of symptoms at least six months after the stressor
ha! i love that i have nerdy friends.
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